Match Report - Bures vs. Twinstead 27/09/03

Bures 213 for 5 (40 overs, L. Chambers 101 (retired), J. Lee 38 not out ).

Twinstead  125 for 3 (Duncalfe 66).

Match Drawn (or should that be 'yawn'?)

A fine Bures batting performance on a drying Twinstead wicket in the final match of the season came to nothing as Twinstead batted out for the dullest of dull draws. The Twinstead openers made little effort to knock off the required runs, batting out for a draw from the outset to the detriment not only of the Bures fielders but also the majority of the Twinstead team members themselves, most of whom decided to play football instead!

Yet another fine afternoon greeted the players, with Twinstead winning the toss and inviting Bures to bat on a sticky but flat wicket which had seen some overnight rain. Initial progress was at best steady against an accurate Twinstead attack, but Lewis Chambers quickly found his touch and carried on from last week with some fine shots on both sides of the wicket, assisted by Alan Cropper (25), Mr. Slow (28) and James Lee (38 not out). There seemed little the opposition bowlers could do to stem the flow of runs, with Bill Lucking wisely staying out of the attack while Lewis was in full flow. Lewis retired at 101 not out; his second ton in successive matches and a fantastic effort. Bures closed at 213 for 5, a good but not impossible target on a rapidly drying and increasingly batsman-friendly wicket.

In the absence of the pavilion (sadly still in construction mode) tea was taken in the village hall with fine homemade cakes, sarnies and good strong tea. To say that the Twinstead reply started slowly would be doing a disservice to other things in life which one might hitherto have considered slow. In anticipation of a negative Twinstead approach, Mr. Slow resorted to the fearsome pace attack of Junior Slow, aged 13. Striking fear into the hearts of the batters with his brutal pace, young James tore into the opposition showing little mercy. Amazingly, the batsmen just patted the majority of his donkey drops back and made no effort to capitalise on the youngster's bowling. Steady McKenna plugged away at the other end and recorded a string of maidens. The game was effectively over after just a few overs; Twinstead were simply going to bat out for a draw from the outset. This was a case for Mr Slow who, bowling very slowly indeed, tried to coax the batters into a shot or two. Hah! Some hope! And more maidens. Having long since lost interest in the game and having given up all hope of a result, Tom Cropper, James Lee, Joe Dutton and even Derrick Messent trundled away in vain. Finally, inexplicably, a wicket fell in extraordinary style, the ball ricocheting off the boot of Cropper Snr. and into the hands of son Tom! There was a short wait for the next batsman to take the crease because he and his team mates, having also long lost interest in one of the dullest games of cricket ever, were involved in an animated game of football on the grass behind the outfield. And who could blame them? Ironically, long after the possibility of any meaningful result had passed, the Twinstead batters showed some aggression and proved what might have been achieved had a more positive approach been taken from the outset. Twinstead closed at 125 for 3, giving a facade of respectability to what had in reality been a debacle.

But the best of the day was yet to come. Offering the foundations of the new pavilion nothing more than a cursory glance, Bures coasted down to The Swan where large quantities of liquid were imbibed. Mr. Slow paid tribute to his players and their contributions over the season and expressed his pleasure that the spirit of the club was as strong as ever. As a gesture of his gratitude, two jugs of beer were distributed amongst the members. The bitter was quickly drained dry but the "probably the best lager in the world" jug remained curiously untouched until a group of children arrived and, thinking it was a soft drink, devoured it.

The 2003 season has now finished. This season, we have played 32 games of cricket. We have lost 13, drawn 1 and won 18. Despite our enforced withdrawal from the league we have continued to obtain fixtures and have played competitive, honourable and enjoyable cricket. The club, in terms of the commitment of our members, is a strong as ever and moves are afoot to bring league cricket back to Bures in 2004. We have a unique social mix and our senior players are aged between 13 and 62. I just can't imagine why anyone would ever want to play anywhere else, can you?

Contact us - here