Match Report - Earls Colne & Bures vs. Cressing 21/06/04

PDQ Cars League Match - Division 3

Cressing 100 all out (26.4 overs)

(Christopher Chambers 8-2-31-5, David Coyle 3.4-0-18-3)

Earls Colne & Bures  101 for 1 (15 overs)

(Will Amos 52 not out, Craig Lesiak 41 not out)

Earls Colne & Bures won by 9 wickets.

A late afternoon finish in this game in which Cressing (without wishing to be unkind) were comprehensively thrashed.

Cressing won the toss and elected to bat on a green Earls Colne wicket. E C & B bowler "Lazy" Lesiak ruled with a rod of iron from one end while Mr. Slow struggled to find accuracy at the other. The opening Cressing batters, shackled by the accuracy of Lazy, began to take liberties at the other end and Mr. Slow was rewarded with a prize cleaned-bowled off a rare straight delivery! After a break for rain and despite a breezy knock from the Cressing no. 3, the stage was set for the supreme accuracy of Chris Chambers aided and abetted by David Coyle's off-spin. The Cressing batters started to drop like flies, with the two E C & B bowlers sharing 8 wickets. An excellent effort from both bowlers, with Cressing succumbing to 100 all out, an inadequate score on a reasonable batting wicket with a fast outfield.

Tea was far from ready and so the captains agreed to resume play immediately. The E C & B openers Amos and Coyle D. made a confident start before David was uncharacteristically cheaply dismissed after having a little feel outside his off stump (he's quite partial to that, we are told .....).  Enter Lazy Lesiak who together with his Captain, started to score heavily in the face of some not-too-bad Cressing bowling. With half an eye on the inclement weather closing in from the west, the batters accelerated the rate to finish the job before the heavens opened. Both played some brutal shots with Lazy's sumptuous off-drive topped only by Will's hooked six onto the tiled roof of the groundsman's shed! The target was reached off only 15 overs as the heavens opened and all the players retired to the pavilion for a fine tea (courtesy, once again, of Mrs. Coyle) to find that the bar had been kept open for their benefit. Hurray!

After tea, diehard members of each club were to be found patronising the bar with some enthusiasm. As numbers thinned, Mr. Slow, CJC, James Lee and Big Pat were to be found propping up the bar and discussing diverse matters such as cricket, monkeys and elderflower notes in the guest beer. This seemed to be the cue for another of Big Pat's stories the precise nature of which (as usual) I am unable to recount for reasons of common decency but I am able to confirm that the following words or phrases were used, "Rooney" "Beer" "Sexual act" and "Nirvana", but not necessarily in that order. He really does seem to lead a most interesting life.

A most impressive performance from E C & B and one which may well be noticed by the other teams in the division. Roll on next week!

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