Match Report - Bures vs. Three Horseshoes 06/09/03

Bures 216 for 8 (Ben Cropper 71, Chris Chambers 37, Lee Norton 36).

Three Horseshoes 93 all out (James Bocking 6-3-8-5, Ben Cropper 5-2-18-3).

Bures won by 123 runs.

A fine afternoon ended in a comfortable victory for Bures over a very social 'shoes eleven! Mr. Slow continued his wretched form with the coin by once again losing the toss. The 'Shoes skip. however took a sensible view having obviously witnessed a fairly thorough watering of his team at the hands of a certain Mr. Amos Snr. and invited the village to bat in an agreed 35-over encounter.

Following the early loss of James Lee, Chris Ayers and Ben Cropper got stuck into some quite tempting bowling with Ben particularly enjoying himself immensely before retiring with a mystery injury, stranded on 71. It was time for the younger element to show what they could do as Lee Norton made progress towards a maiden 50, before heaving across the line and departing 14 short. A few lusty blows from CJC moved the score on further before Marc Norton and James Bocking took the score past 200 and up to tea.

Tea saw the season's debut of Mrs. Slow, who had delegated cake manufacture to Grandma Slow who at 81 years of age has baked a cake or two in her time. Grandma warmed to the challenge of providing stomach lining for 22 hungry cricketers and (as it happened) a number of hangers-on. Iced almond tarts were a particular hit, being just two inches in circumference but weighing almost 5 ounces each. A Broganesque sponge cake on each table was demolished in record time and the obligatory chocolate brownies given short shrift. Not to be outdone, Mrs. Slow in her capacity of sandwichmeister, produced a fine selection which was comprehensively hoovered, too. Mr. Slow, resplendent in pinney and fluffy slippers, shuffled round with the tea jug and smiled approvingly as tummies were rubbed and general flatulence and indigestion took hold. Surreptitiously, he removed the toilet roll from the Gents' lavatory and sensing a soft, vulnerable and over-full underbelly on the part of the opposition, announced that play would recommence in 5 minutes time. Mrs. Slow strove vainly to tidy the pavilion after what would have appeared to some to have been a chimpanzees' tea-party than any attempt at sporting activity.

The 'shoes openers, still munching jam tarts and cramming further provisions into their pockets, shuffled uneasily to the crease. Mr. Slow, taking stock of the bloated condition of his senior bowlers, decided on a policy of youth over experience and Marc Norton and Joe Dutton peppered the 'shoes openers with a variety of deliveries, some of which caused the umpires to flap their arms in an outward direction. Marc eventually discovered a correlation between bowling somewhere near the stumps and taking wickets, with two fine yorkers making a nasty mess of the delicately arranged timbers. With his senior bowlers still in the grip of rigor mortis, the services of Slow Junior and Ben Cropper were called upon with both bowlers quickly in the wickets. An exciting finale emerged with Bures apparently unable to take the final two wickets and with black clouds threatening an imminent downpour. We need not have worried. With all possible encouragement from his team mates, Slow Junior returned a haul of 5 wickets for just 8 runs. At just 13 years of age, this is his first 5 wicket haul in any type of cricket but one can safely say that it will not be his last, nor will he forget it in a hurry. Well done, James!

The Bells beckoned and was accepted. Slow Junior was made to fully understand the financial implication of his success, but delegated payment for the obligatory jug to his father (Thanks, son!). As the 'shoes entourage left for the safety of their hotel and the younger element glued themselves to the gogglebox to watch the footy, Mr. Slow and The Skipper sidled off unnoticed and secreted themselves in a dark corner of the public bar of The Swan. The two old soaks exchanged information and views on matters of national importance, whilst appreciating rather better-kept IPA, about as good as it gets. Finally, MS collected his ebullient offspring and retired to the comfort of his Bordeaux rouge. Another day, another game and thankfully, another victory. 

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